I often find myself asking, what does it really mean to “allow ourselves”?? Is it about giving yourself a free pass to do whatever? Indulging ourselves through new hobbies (that burn money, not make it)? Essentially, what does life look like if we’re not constantly thinking about work? I suppose the recurring theme here is how often do we really meet ourselves, our authentic selves..
These days, I’ve found myself answering this notion by creating quieter moments that allow my mind to breathe from the noise.
This time round, I found time to travel out to Japan for some moments of self-care. Whenever I travel, my senses heighten, and life expands a little more. Perhaps it’s because the weight of our daily responsibilities softens, even if just briefly, and there’s nothing left to focus on except ourselves. It’s a privilege that I try not to take for granted.
I’ve always been charmed by Japan in many ways; from its food, culture, anime (yes) and of course, its fashion and fabrics. There is something captivating in Japan’s quiet appreciation for details, and discipline to fully master a craft. It’s a spirit that inspires my personal reflections, and I find myself returning to the same few “rituals” each time I’m back here. In some ways, it feels like a routine or ceremonial reset for when I need to come back to myself again.
A quiet start
I started my day at Nishikubo Hachiman Shrine in Toranomon. I’m not exactly religious by nature, but there is something so sacred and powerful when we choose to pray and manifest some of our inner strengths and desires. In moments of self-doubt, I find comfort and peace in surrendering to a higher power or having a moment to just listen to my own voice.
At the Toranomon Shrine this time round since it was enroute for me
Whenever I’m in Tokyo, I try to visit the Senso-ji in Asakusa. I find some solace when I get to read an omikuji (fortune slip) for the confusing moments in life, or replace one of the omamori (temple souvenir) bell charms that I hang with my carabiner of keys that jangles on the side tab of my trousers, which also inspired our “MAMO” objects too. This time round, I’ve also decided to visit quieter shrines and spots for a change, like the Nishikubo Hachiman.
A familiar pause
There’s something relaxing about going back to something constant, and nothing beats a good cup of coffee for a simple pause. Tokyo has no shortage of cafés, and while I’m not always particular about what I drink, I’ve come to appreciate the ritual of having a brief mid-day break.
This time, I stopped by Sedai Coffee Roasters in Shibuya. Their barista highly recommended their Iced Dirty Pistachio Latte and it was an immediate hit. It's a wonderful flavour if you love nutty coffees. That being said, I did double down on my preference for darker roasts, it always makes the day better.
At the Sedai Coffee Rosters
A small reset
I think most of us do have some sort of relationship with our hair - the styling often reinforces parts of our identity. Does it feminize or emasculate us? Does it communicate a certain value about ourselves? I never truly thought about it in my youth having cycled through so many hair lengths, not to mention a crazy amount of bleach and colour. But in hindsight, every hair change signaled a new era or shift in our lives. At the moment, I feel like my current longish hair which I’ve kept for the last two years reflects a sense of stability in my life, and the woman I’m growing into.
With stylist, Rann from Code + LIM
Back home in Singapore, I often return to the same stylist, Miho from Kizuki + LIM (Less is More) and am always enamored with her touch and services. So I thought to also give one of their affiliated branches in Tokyo a shot, and have since made it a point to go for a hair refresh whenever I travel there. This time, I visited the Code + LIM branch in Shibuya, and worked with stylist Rann. I was definitely nervous about perming my fringe since I’ve almost never done without my bangs for the last 15 years, I took the plunge to trust Rann’s perspective, and I’m glad I did. I think hesitation comes from within, independent of the circumstances at hand. We’re often far more self-conscious than we should be.
Sidenote, Rann has shifted to salon MA KU based in Setagaya, Tokyo and you can book her services here too.
Little markers of time
I love collecting little keychains or toys that become emotional markers from a specific point in time. After getting inspired by Ruby of Hellohomebodies’ sharing, I decided to make my last pitstop of this “self-care day” at Hiseki, where you can turn vintage coins from all over the world into rings or necklaces. I’m a sucker for that sorta stuff.
After some deliberation, I picked a 20-cent Singapore coin from 1991, also my birth year that got crafted into a pinkie ring. I also made a thumb ring using a vintage coin, because apparently wearing it signals your willpower… One last coin was then crafted into a necklace pendant. I wore it right after because I felt I could do with a little more good jujus and willpower to keep this platform and work alive (hahah). I continue to wear these today.
Apart from experiencing little moments of magic while on my time off, I was also touched by an encounter during “work hours”. While sourcing for fabrics in Nippori town, I stopped by for a coffee and a cute obasan (aunt) casually asked if I was also shopping around for fabrics. I told her I did not know very much Japanese, and she immediately made the effort to switch to her self-taught English.
Atsuko san who I encountered during my first day here in Tokyo
Her vigour for learning even at 71 was incredibly inspiring. She shared her many endeavours, which included interesting things like tole painting (folk art of decorative painting on tin and wooden utensils) and sewing, and how her top favourite place is Kanazawa, near her hometown amongst all the countries she has travelled to. We shared about our favourite fabrics, what she had been sewing and how I actually did not enjoy sewing at all hahaha. I showed her how to write my surname in Chinese and she recognises the character and I'm reminded about the deep similarities and roots between our cultures.
What touched me greatly after was her sharing these little horse knick knacks that she got while shopping. And how she wanted to pay for my coffee, but I had already beaten her to it. Flustered at my gesture, she began emptying out the coins from her cute neko (cat) coin pouch. I told her to please keep her change, but realized she was actually offering her pouch. "This was only sewn and I had only been using this for the last week and I hope you get to enjoy it!" She passed it over with so much sincerity and appreciation I couldn't say no and my heart swelled with a quiet gratitude that reminded me of the simple joys in genuine connection.
My little hang out with Atsuko san during my cafe break while sourcing for fabric
Cute little knick knacks and the Neko pouch from Atsuko san
At the end of coffee, all I was left with was a quiet warmth despite a long tiring day.
It reminded me how, even far away from home, we’re all just small humans moving through our own stories. And how much it matters to be kind to one another along the way. I find myself growing more grateful for these moments as I age, the ones that add texture to life.
Perhaps this is what it means to truly allow ourselves to live expansively.
x Sheryl
LOCATIONS FROM OUR NOTES: THE TOKYO DIARIES
1 Nishikubo Hachiman Shrine in Toranomon
5 Chome-10-14 Toranomon, Minato City, Tokyo 105-0001, Japan
2 Sedai coffee roasters, Shibuya
https://sedaicoffee.com/
〒150-0001 Tokyo, Shibuya, Jingumae, 5 Chome−29−9 1F
3 CODE + LIM, Shibuya
4 Chome-28-11 Jingumae, Shibuya, Tokyo 150-0001, Japan
https://www.lessismore.co.jp/code/
4 HISEKI 東京原宿店, Shibuya
Japan, 〒150-0001 Tokyo, Shibuya, Jingumae, 1 Chome−15−1 Via, １０４
https://hiseik-store.net/
Text edited by Ho Kin Yunn
